Today I remembered a loverly thing called "open studio".  The Mystic Art Association has an open studio for the public every Monday from 1pm-4pm.  I think I should take advantage of this.  Especially because I have a real problem doing my artwork at home.  I get distracted by all the things that need to be done around the house, and the places I work tend to be very messy.  And because of that I avoid working...

I know I keep repeating that I'm not getting things done.  It's a regular occurrence, I know...  I feel like I need to try removing myself from my environment as well as the list idea.  This slump is killing me.  I'm my worst enemy.  I have actually been having some decent ideas for artwork and I just can't seem to get myself to put that first mark down.  I just don't feel like doing artwork right now...

My cousin is an artist as well.  An illustrator actually.  I wish I could be as outgoing as she is.  She is the artist I can't be.  She is a go getter, and willing to put herself out there to get ahead.  She now has two jobs, in her field, and just got a great apartment!  Happy for her, don't get me wrong, but I'm not going to lie... Super jealous...  I'm just not that way.

I am the artist that sneaks her business card on bulletin boards in restaurants or in local businesses.  Or keeps business cards in her wallet for the off occasion someone comments on my barrette that I happened to make.  I just can't "sell" myself.  I was always taught it was bad to talk good about yourself.  That it was being self centered and was taboo.  If I was ever excited about getting any attention when I was younger, it was immediately noticed and brought to light as being bad and to fix it.  Sometimes things ingrained into you as a young age are hard to change.  No matter how backwards they are.

Another thing that has been on my mind is my skin.  I have eczema as it is, but I am a face toucher and a face picker.  Stress makes it worse because I stand infront of the mirror, stew on things that are bothering me and pick at my skin at the same time.  It's really awful.  I've been trying so hard to break this awful habit, but it's so hard.  Kevin has been so good lately to yell at me when I'm in the bathroom picking.  It really does help me.  I know he knows, but if he doesn't say anything I'm still apt to still pick.  The human mind is really strange to me.  I know it's terrible for my skin to do this, but I still do pick.  I have it in my head that if I don't get out whatever is in my pores, that it'll be worse.  So backwards!  Ugh!  I hope this wedding comes fast because it's really doing a number on me.  To all you brides out there planning, I feel for ya.  I hate this.  If I could, I would've eloped.  Our families are wanting a celebration so badly.  And I really want to give it to them, but I just want it to be over already so that things can go back to normal and don't have this big thing looming over me.  Kevin helps some, but I wish he would be more involved...  His view is that we have more than a year to plan for this thing.  Which is completely true, but if we're making things... That takes a lot of time, and I don't want to procrastinate wedding stuff like I do everything else in my life.

I'm excited for spring because it's time for bike rides, hiking, birds, flowers, and strawberries!!!  Our strawberry patch is growing a little more every year.  The flowers are out this week in full force.  Pretty exciting.  I swear, fresh strawberries from a home garden are the BEST!!!  They're so sweet and delicious.  At the top of the patch we have rhubarb, such an awesome combination!  Kevin and I are going to make a compote or preserve (we'll see how long we cook it this time =0)) of the strawberries from last year we froze and the rhubarb from this year.  

Well it's getting pretty late, and all I've done is create a great Pandora station, thank people for donations to Team Walken, add friends on Facebook, and just farted around on the internet.  I have my projects infront of me... I'm the worst!  No motivation...